Hagrid's Last Laugh
by SandwichLord
Summary: Hagrid makes a mistake and tries to fix it. Will he succeed?
1. Chapter 1

SO Hagrid was in space setting up this huge space station but he wasn't high enough in orbit so the whole project was about to go all fucked up because Hagrid hadn't loaded enough fuel to get the space station far enough out into space and because of that there was a lot of disappointment at Hogwarts Space Center who had put a lot of cash into the project and they all blamed Hagrid and said he was irresponsible and unprepared for the task at hand. Snape, who supervised the mission from the ground was very upset and shook his head while taking off his headset and threw it on the ground with a huge BANG! And then he cursed Hagrid and told a bunch of people that he hoped that Hagrid would die in space. Some people thought he went too far while others thought it was an appropriate response to Hagrids misdeed. Meanwhile, in almost-space, Hagrid was clumsily and in desperation trying to make a phone call with his giant hands on a tiny cellphone, wearing huge protective gloves. It was a shameful sight. When he finally had managed to push the correct buttons in correct order, the phone in his own house started to ring.

Harry suddenly woke up on the carpet at Hagrid's house from the terrible noise from the huge bells Hagrid had connected to the phone just to piss people off. "Who might that be?" he asked himself and answered. Hagrid heard Harrys squaky little voice and began to shout that he was falling to the earth at an alarming rate and that he needed immediate assistance from his favorite buddy. Harry couldn't hear a word he was saying because he was in space and since no sound can be heard in space Harry thought it was a prank call and hung up after a moment of puzzled staring with his mouth wide open and a drop of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth. Hagrid was furious that his best friend would let him down in such a terrible situation and threw a screwdriver into space with all his strength. He then started to call Dumbledore instead and when he picked up the phone Hagrid started going on about Harry's treachery and that the space station was starting to catch on fire from the atmospheric reentry and that he needed help. Dumbledore couldn't hear a thing but because he was so old he thought that it was whoever called that was the stupid one for believing that such an old man still could hear what the hell people were saying all the time. He got angry, hung up and blocked the phone number. He then recognized the number and realized that it was Hagrid's number. He suddenly stood up and jumped out of his bathtub, grabbed a wizard's bath robe and stormed into his office and grabbed a parchment and started writing something with intense and swift motions. He then called on an owl to have the parchment delivered to Hagrid personally.

When the owl got into space to deliver the parchment Hagrid had without success tried to reach Harry, Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, and a lot of old Hogwarts friends that he hadn't spoken to in a while. Nobody had answered and nobody cared because no one had heard a single word that he had uttered, because in space sound can't be heard. He had tried to smash the glass on his space helmet to be able to put the phone in the space suit so people could hear what he said but the lack of oxygen made it hard for him to breathe so he passed out and the Owl thought he was drunk and shook its little head in disappointment while dropping the parchment on the old fool's head. Hagrid woke up in confusion and rolled up the parchment and read the letter: "can't hear you, talk later buddy! / D-man out". Hagrid saw this as the ultimate betrayal and cursed Snape for tricking him into going into space. Before he closed his eyes for the last time he took a final glance at the earth which was decreasing its distance from him faster and faster and thought he wasn't going to miss it that much. Later that day Harry got home from the laundry room and turned on the radio and they said that some moron had fallen from space and died in a huge crash and he thought that it was stupid so he laughed at the poor guy's fate, but he didn't realize until later that he was laughing at his best friend's ultimate demise.

The end


	2. Chapter 2

So Hagrid woke up in a huge pile of smoking debris and there was fire everywhere and a huge crater around him so when he stood up he knocked his head in the crater and he said "why is there a crater here?". He then moved on with his life and started to climb up the stairs that were close to him. He was annoyed that he didn't fit the stairs because he was a half giant so he just walked the regular path up the crater. He realized that he had made the crater! He had fallen from the sky earlier that day and noone hade halped him so he decided to avenge his so called friends. He went home and when Harry opened he got a big bucket of water in his face and Hagrid laughed his ass off when he saw it. And Dumbledore got perfume in his toothpaste which he didn't like. Hagrid then moved on with his life strengthened from the experience.


End file.
